Thursday, September 21, 2006

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

I was recently reminded of the weird culture of creating absurd Chuck Norris "Facts" . Here are a few from one of the leading fact creating websites. Don't get your hopes up, i am not talking about fox news.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

  • Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
  • Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
  • When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris!

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